Misery Seeks A Bed Partner! A Cautionary Tale

It's that time of year, the Christmas season which brings so much joy, so much fun, so much love AND it can also bring so much worry, so much tension, and stress and has the power to shine a giant full moon-sized light into the dark crevices of your life.

Those areas that for the most part you manage to ignore by keeping busy, that you only pay a visit in the depth of the darkness, that leave you with that terrible gnawing hopelessness deep inside.  Closing your eyes hoping for rest and instead, your mind takes it as a sign to get into action and so the overthinking begins yet again.

What can you do to break the pattern?

There is nothing worse than that enforced merriment and spending of money that may already be tight to cause arguments, alight personal fears, and inflame emotions, lighting the way for disagreement.

When life at home can already feel like you’re tiptoeing around certain subjects (or eggshells cover every corner) it's no wonder that the Christmas holiday proves to be the final straw that breaks the camel's back for many couples.

So, what can you do to navigate this period and ensure that you're in control, making decisions that work for you and your family?  Decisions that aren't an emotional reaction, (eye roll there she goes again outbursts) that nobody takes seriously (doesn't that lead to a whole new level of resentment).

Take a different approach ad here is how!

So, whether Your New Year's Resolution is to leave, divorce, or work on your relationship what can you do NOW, with the limited time you have available to ensure that you are taking positive action NOT reaction?

Simply Don't Drink 🍸

“Whaaaaaat?  She’s crazy, this is one time of year that I can drink – that I’m expected to drink, that there are no limits to how, where, when”.

Yes, I know, oh I know, all the celebrations, nights out, Christmas parties, Christmas lunch, the stress, the money worries, the desire to make it the BEST yet, the heightened workloads, the heightened emotions, the full-time job, plus the organisation, the kids, work, the family, the gift buying, the gift planning, The shoestring budget, the exhaustion…….. all that on top of the normal niggles in your family, your life and with your partner.

Add Alcohol & BOOM!

Don't get caught up in the idea that a glass is wine is just a gift to yourself to unwind, relax, and forget about your worries for an hour.

Don't let that glass of wine, beer, G&T whatever become the solution.

It isn't!

It's simply a temporary insulator against the sound of the eggshells crunching underfoot.

It is the courage you need to voice your discontentment.

In Vino Veritas!

• How many of your arguments have been oiled by THAT glass of wine at the end of another long day?
• How much fear around communication dissolves into bravado when that relaxing glass of wine begins to melt the anxiety?
• How many times are your arguments fuelled by alcohol?  Even one glass?
• How many times do you say one glass and have three?
• How many times do plan for a nice evening only to be overrun by hidden emotions and there you go again yet another fight?
• How many times do you promise yourself that tonight you won't react, you won't argue and BAM, there you go again?

Here’s the thing about your solution, it's causing the problems, yes, it’s Dutch courage but you're now deferring power to that glass of wine (G&T, etc) and the underlying discontent.

So, here's my tip for you, let Wine O'clock go just for December, become aware of your thoughts around drinking, and avoid those drinks that you know are about switching off your emotions.

Notice your thinking, what happens when you make a decision not to have a glass?  Does the evening go better?  Do you feel fractious or anxious?  Do you feel deprived?

Alcohol can be so much fun until it becomes the crutch to live a life that isn’t fun – then it holds all the power.

So why not gift yourself self the gift of a December free from “Wine O’clock”

Recall your Power, Step into mindful action, and avoid the inevitable reaction that strips you of power, fills you with remorse, and steals the limelight from all your justified complaints.